Our Story

This is the story of family and our Jaime.
In 2009 we decided to start a family. I had taught (middle school math) long enough to get things paid off. After 6 months of trying I went in to see my OB/GYN and we started fertility treatments for PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). I was a basket case about whether we would really ever have a baby. After three rounds of clomid/hcg trigger shots/etc, we were blessed with a miracle. We had Jorja in January of 2011. For the first two months there was no way I was going to have another child. Over the last year things have changed and memories of a painful labor have faded.
We wanted to have our children spaced two years apart. So, in June of 2012 we started trying again and after going back through fertility treatments we were stunned to find out we were pregnant within the first cycle. Since this was our second we were ready to tell the world and not as worried about miscarriage. We told our family as soon as we knew for sure. At 9 weeks we told the world on facebook. 

From the 6th week, I had the same symptoms that I had with our daughter Jorja. I was exhausted and nauseous. We had two ultrasounds showing a healthy baby at two different doctors. Around 9 weeks, my symptoms disappeared. I am a worrier by nature so this concerned me. I prayed about it and asked a few people about it. It was blown off that I was close to the end of my first trimester so it was fine. The nurse said the same thing and told me I could take another pregnancy test to see if my hormones indicated differently. It was still positive at 10w4d by the way. 

All during this time God was working on me. I read a book that had a character that dealt with stillbirth and how she saw God's hand in all of it as well as how she dealt with it. I had a Sunday where I was at church without the hubby (very rare). I had one of those aaamazing services where God was talking right to me. It was basically "It is Well with my Soul." God was preparing my heart.I remember praying with my friend about my worries and saying that I was ok with whatever He chose because I knew his will was best. 

Well, at 10 weeks I started to have some brown discharge. I was told that unless I was cramping and filling a pad with blood within an hour that I was ok. On August 16th I went to have an ultrasound just to hear our little one's heartbeat. I just had to know. We were unable to find a heartbeat. 

I JUST KNEW...

I hated that I was right but I cannot explain how grateful I was that God had been preparing me. It wasn't this huge shock to me (unlike everyone else that found out). I was blessed to have God answer my prayers to have a natural miscarriage at home on August 19, 2012. Even if God had not answered these prayers I still know that he was in control of all of it and he has a master plan for our family. 

We named our baby Jaime Rae Hendrix after my father and father-in-law. My heart says Jaime was a girl but I won't know until we meet in heaven. Until then, Jaime is always in my heart. 

My hope for this blog is that I will be able to encourage others through my story. I will be linking resources and other things that apply to pregnancy and infant loss.